Words Can Never Hurt Me — or Can They?

Posted by on May 13, 2007 under Sermons

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” Really? If that’s true then why is Don Imus out of a job? Imus did not throw any sticks or stones, but by his own admission he did hurl some hurtful words. Perhaps words are not as harmless as the old saying supposes.

This isn’t the first time and will probably not be the last time that insensitive and hurtful words spoken in the public square will cause us to reflect on the way we talk. Whether or not celebrities and media outlets strive to police themselves, it would be beneficial for us to reflect on the power of words. Words can hurt, but they can also heal. Words can tear down, but words can also build up.

The power of words is demonstrated so clearly in the creation story. God speaks our world into existence with words. The naming of things defines realities. God sets up definitions by naming night and day, land and sea, human and animals. Of all the creatures that God creates he gives on the power to use words.

The destructive power of words is also evident in the Genesis story. With the subtle twisting of words and lies, the relationship between God and his creation is disrupted. Our relationship with one another is also strained because of the misuse and abuse of words.

This reading in Ephesians shows us that as God’s people we are to walk worthy of our calling. We must maintain the oneness of the spirit and the bond of peace. Living out the new life in Christ involves making choices about our behavior. In this text, the writer specifically urges us to overcome lying, anger, stealing, and evil talk. Literally, this kind of talk is described as rotten and worthless. (Sapros in Greek means rotten and decayed).

  • We bring good things to our potlucks; who would dare to bring something spoiled? Why should it be any different with the things we say?

The opposite of the rotten and worthless speech is the sort of talk that builds others up. It is good because it benefits them. And we want to speak this way because we God’s children and we want our speech to be just like his – that’s quite a goal because when God spoke he created good things.

  • God allows us the privilege to speak incredible things and he let’s us use words that create reality
  • When we come to the waters of baptism some very incredible things are spoken: 1) the confession of belief, 2) the forgiveness of sins, and 3) the reality of new life in Christ.
  • Our blessings today are not merely sentimental moments. We believe that when we speak a blessing, God in his graciousness adds to the benefit of these words.
  • We can use words to forgive and to seek forgiveness. God in Christ forgave us, and he allows us to speak words of forgiveness and unity to one another.

We always have a choice when we open our mouths to speak: Our speech can be rotten and destructive or it can build up and benefit. We can use words to hurt, or we can use words to heal.

How will you use your words today? What sort of words will come out of your mouth? I am not encouraging you to feel guilty, rather I would like to encourage you to feel holy and urge you to talk like one of God’s children. I pray that these words will build you up.

Holy Manners: Unselfishness

Posted by on May 10, 2007 under Bulletin Articles

Though the Philippian Christians seemed untroubled in a casual reading of Paul’s letter, evidences in the letter suggest they had interpersonal relationship problems as Christians.

  1. The challenge to behave worthy of Christ’s gospel (1:27-30).
  2. Paul’s plea in the above text (2:1-4).
  3. The sending of Timothy to check on their condition (2:19).
  4. Paul’s explanation for his personal commitment (3:1-17).
  5. Recognition of the “enemies” in the congregation (3:17-21).
  6. The congregational conflict involving Euodia and Syntyche (4:2, 3).

In the context of internal rivalry, consider Paul’s admonition concerning proper conduct:

  1. “If you want to give me genuine cause for joy as I am under arrest, be of one mind (toward each other), preserve Christian love(that brought you together in Christ), be united in spirit (Jesus Christ’s spirit that produced your salvation), have a common purpose (determined by Jesus Christ’s objective).”
  2. “Never function in selfishness or empty conceit in the Christian community.”
  3. “Function in humility with high regard for other Christians.”
  4. “Consider the interests of other Christians as superior to your own interests.”

Paul based the example of appropriate Christian conduct on Jesus’ example in yielding to God, coming to earth, and living a life of surrender as a creature he helped bring into existence (2:5-8). He (as should we) let God magnify him (2:9-11), which God did.

One of the more difficult challenges every Christian confronts: determining appropriate behavior when a fellow Christian does not share our values, come to our conclusions, or behave like we want him or her to behave. Those moments make Paul’s injunction to contending Christians in Romans 14:10-12 extremely difficult to understand and follow. It is hard to leave such matters in God’s hands!

We understand that we practice good manners in physical matters to preserve civilized behavior. Good manners are not practiced because such are deserved. When people fail to practice good manners, civil behavior unravels. More is threatened than the moment!

Religiously, Christians practice holy manners to preserve Jesus Christ’s influence in the Christian community. Failure to do so threatens our spiritual family. Always, more is threatened than the moment! God’s influences advance with godly manners! God’s influence suffers when Christian’s use ungodly manners in His family.

A Tale of Two Ages

Posted by on May 6, 2007 under Sermons

The book of Daniel is a part of a Bible that is both familiar and strange. Since we were children we have heard the stories of Daniel and his friends, the fiery furnace, the handwriting on the wall, and Daniel in the lion’s den. These tales are well-known in our culture. However, there are sections of the book of Daniel that are bizarre and seemingly difficult to understand. Who are the kings of the North and South? What is the meaning of the boastful horn and the series of weeks? What are the empires represented by the statue and the beasts? These are texts that raise as many questions as there are interpretations.

One of the reasons that Daniel is so unusual is that it comes to us as a tale of two ages. The events in the stories that take place during Daniel’s lifetime are based in the 6th century B.C. during the Babylonian Exile of Judah. Daniel’s visions concern events into the 2nd century B.C.

Daniel the Wise Man
Daniel is a Judean nobleman. He is devout. He is appointed an official and governor under the empires that rule his homeland. He is an interpreter of dreams, a visionary and a witness to great events. He is mentioned in Ezekiel 28:3 (14:14, 20) as a wise man.

We can compare Daniel to Joseph in Genesis 41. Daniel isn’t really a prophet, He’s a wise man. He is a righteous role model. Daniel, like John the Apostle, has a vision. Something is revealed to him and it informs God’s people of the truth in the midst of persecution.

Daniel also has adventures in the first six chapters. The last six chapter are mainly visions.Daniel is an everyman, or rather an ideal man. He is the ideal son of Israel in a hostile environment. He endures and he prevails because he is wise, because he has character and integrity (and thus God blesses him), and he has perspective.

Daniel is caught up in the great events of history in his own time, but his message isn’t just for his own age. It is for all ages in a timeless sense, but Daniel’s visions are also specifically for another age of struggling children of Israel.

Who Is Who in Daniel?
Daniel’s cast of characters set up the challenge between God’s people and the outsiders who oppose and challenge God’s rule. Our heroes include Daniel and his companions, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (better known as Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego), and finally there is a mysterious divine presence who appears to represent God. He is present in the fiery furnace. He comes as the angel Gabriel. He is the son of man who appears to Daniel and gives him a vision of the future.

On the other hand, there are the mighty kings who presume to have all the authority. Some of them, Nebuchadnezzar and Darius the Mede, learn the God is sovereign over all. Others, like Belshazzar, do not. There is a mysterious evil king alluded to in the visions. This evil king will come in Daniel’s future and do far worse that any king before him. But can he resist the power of God? The message of Daniel is that God and his kingdom will ultimately rule over all.

The Two Ages
There are parallels between the 6th century and the 2 century B.C. During the 6th century, Judah was conquered by the world super-power, Babylon, and their identity as God’s people was thrown into crisis. They were taken captive and the temple was destroyed.

The implications of this are huge. They lost their connection to the land and their faith. How can they offer sacrifices in the way God ordained (see Deuteronomy) when the temple is destroyed? Are the gods of Babylon more powerful than God himself?

In the second century B.C., an outside force also created crisis for God’s people. When Antiochus IV Epiphanes desecrated the temple during his conquest of Egypt, the people of God must have wondered if history was repeating.

A Tale of Three Ages?

  1. What is the timeless wisdom of Daniel?
  2. His future is our mostly our past
  3. What does Daniel’s view of history say about our age and our future?
  4. What do we learn about God?

Clothed in Christ

Posted by on under Sermons

Read Ephesians 4:17-24

When I was a sophomore in high school, I received a special invitation to serve at a formal banquet. Serving at the banquet was an honor, but it meant that I had to have a tuxedo. My parents looked into renting a tuxedo and they realized that in a few months time I would have to rent one again for wedding party. They also knew that I certainly could use it during my junior and senior year for photos and proms and there would undoubtedly be other banquets and events, so they did the practical thing and just bought a tuxedo rather than spending five times as much to continually rent. (And that made sense in those days because tuxedos were rather standard and did not come in the variety of styles that they do today. The only other version we had was the sky blue one with the big ruffles on the shirt).

I look back and observe how ridiculous it seems for a backwoods kid from Brentwood to own a tuxedo. Renting is one thing, but owning a tuxedo tested me. For my parents it was simply a financial decision – they just smiled over the money that had saved. But it pressed me to ask, “What does it take to wear a tuxedo? What kind of person wears a tuxedo?”

I wanted to get it right. I was not a natural candidate for high fashion. Every day I wore grass stained jeans, dirty sneakers, and T-shirts. I rode my motorcycle down to the cattle pond and got mud all over my shoes pestering frogs with fireworks. But I wanted to get it right because every time I put on the tuxedo I thought I was James Bond. I really wanted to be as classy as the tuxedo implied.

I wanted to get it right. So, I learned how to wear the tuxedo properly. I learned to tie my own tie and how to put in the cuff-links and how to shine my shoes. Some of my friends would show up in their rented tuxes and some of them wore tube socks and sneakers; which made sense because they would play basketball in their tuxedos when they got bored with the banquet. Even their cummerbunds were upside down, but I didn’t say anything – I wanted to get it right but I didn’t want to get beat up. Besides, this wasn’t about being a snob or self-righteous. I just felt that if I had my own tuxedo, then I needed to learn how to really have the sort of class that the tuxedo implied. And I may have even picked up some good manners a long the way. All that, just because of a change of clothes …

In Ephesians 4, Paul uses the imagery of a change of clothes to describe the change in God’s people from a former way of life to new life in Christ. His point is that God’s people have put off the dirty, mismatched, ill-fitting clothing of the old life and are now clothed in the tailor-made, polished clothing of the new life. We have been clothed in the likeness of God.

Let me ask you two questions to think about for a moment:
1. As Christians, does it make any difference how we behave?
2. As Christians, why should we behave any certain way?

Let’s deal with these in reverse order, for I am convinced that the answer to the second addresses the first …

2) Why should we behave a certain way? It is not to “get into heaven” or “to get rewarded.” That is backwards thinking. God who is rich in mercy has saved us. When we were dead in our sins we made us alive in Christ. He created us in Christ Jesus to do good things – things that he planned for long ago. He has given us peace with others and blessed us with gifts.So, now that we have already been shown mercy and grace and we are called to live up to it. If we don’t live up to it then we are squandering and despising the new life that God has called us to. (How much sense would it make if my parents had bought me the tuxedo and I went to the fine banquets in my gym clothes that had been in the locker for two weeks?)

1) Now when you think about it like that above, we begin to see that the way we live and behave really does matter. We are called to be the people God always intended for us to be. We were not created and called to be and to live like people who are dead in sin waiting to be rescued and losing hope. Those who aren’t aware of God’s calling to a new life (those whom Paul calls Gentiles – not because of ethnicity, but because of ethics) are living without hope because they don’t know the truth about God and themselves. Even more tragic are those who have hardened their hearts or blinded themselves to reality. Those who aren’t aware of the life God has called them to have nothing more to live for than their own greed and lust.

The point of this is not to make us feel self-righteous. Not at all! Paul was reminding the Ephesian Christians that that was their way of life before they learned a better from Christ. That is not only the way we should regard every person, but also the way we should examine our own lives. What are the habits and behaviors of “the old life” or the “corrupt culture” that we need to strip off like dirty, tattered clothing? After all, the goal here is self-examination, not self-righteousness.

In contrast to the pointless life without God’s calling, the new life in Christ is characterized by behavior and manners that conform to the calling and gracious salvation that God is accomplishing in our lives. As you will notice, we are called to be honest, truthful, self-controlled, thoughtful, and forgiving. To preach and teach these things is to describe the manners and morals that are a part of being clothed in Christ.

This is how we should hear the preaching and teaching of these Scriptures. If you think I am grilling you, toe-stomping, or complaining about the sorry state of morals these days, then you haven’t heard correctly.
If you think I am saying something that someone else really needs to hear, then you haven’t heard correctly.
If you think I am saying something with you specifically in mind but in an indirect way through the preaching, then you haven’t heard correctly.

But if you hear a call to a way of life that is new, Christ-like, mature, you are hearing correctlyIf you hear counsel and direction for a way of behavior that would not only be good for you but would be good for all of us as we strive to live it out, you are hearing correctly.

I have a vision for this congregation that we will all live out the meaning of our baptism.

I have a vision that we will be a people of holy manners who are dressed up in Christ and are pleased to grow up together in the unity of the Holy Spirit.

I really believe this is possible and I believe we can do this because it is described as real in the Word of God.

Because I believe it, I preach it. Shall we help one another to live it?

The Agony of Change (Part 4)

Posted by on May 3, 2007 under Sermons

We all know the power of being upset. I doubt there is a single one of us who has not been upset at something. Sometimes people get upset for reasons that do not merit such a powerful emotional reaction. Sometimes we all get upset because something that really matters happens.

The key to being properly upset is being honest with yourself. When you are upset, are you emotionally reacting to yourself, or are you focusing on concern for others? What is your motive? Are your emotions actually about you, or are they about helping others?

When those emotions are about you and your personal concerns, those emotions will betray you. Those emotions will deceive you as they justify actions that should cause you shame. Years later you will look back and wonder how you could ever do such things. You will be amazed later when you realize that you thought it was about God when it was actually about you.

Nothing is more likely to upset us than helping a person escape an addiction only to witness the same person return to a form of the same addiction. Your concern is not for "all the work I did." It is for the needless tragedy the addicted person is certain to experience.

If you understand that form of "being upset," you understand Paul being upset in his letter to gentile Galatian Christians. Please take your Bibles, turn to Galatians, and follow with me.

  1. Let’s begin with a brief review of our past lessons.
    1. We noted how much it took to convince the Jewish apostle Peter to share salvation in Jesus Christ with a gentile audience. (Acts 10)
    2. We noted the reaction of Jewish Christian leaders and "the circumcision" to Peter’s decision to even associate with (have a meal with) gentiles. (Acts 11:1-17)
    3. We noted the resentment of some Jewish Christians (the circumcision group) because gentiles were becoming Christians before being proselytes to Judaism. (Acts 15:1,2)
    4. We noted the Jerusalem council’s devotion to forming an appropriate response to the concern. (Acts 15:5-29)
    5. We noted the problem these Jewish Christians caused by lying about Paul’s work. (Acts 21:17-22)
    6. We noted the responses to those lies. (Acts 21:23-26)
    7. Add to these things this understanding:
      1. There were a group of baptized Jewish believers who devoted themselves to creating confusion among gentiles believers who responded to Jesus Christ.
        1. They were convinced that their work was God’s work.
        2. They did not oppose gentiles becoming Christians IF they became Jewish proselytes first.
        3. They insisted on the importance of circumcision.
      2. They especially made Paul’s life miserable by doing two things.
        1. They devoted themselves to destroying Paul’s reputation as a Christian.
        2. They devoted themselves to destroying Paul’s work with gentile people.
        3. They were convinced this was the proper, godly thing to do!
  2. The opening of Galatians suggests (pointedly) how upset Paul was.
    1. Paul typically opened a writing to even a deeply troubled congregation with messages of encouragement. (See Romans 1:7-15; 1 Corinthians 1:4-9; 2 Corinthians 1:3-11; Ephesians 1:15-23; Philippians 1:3-11; Colossians 1:3-8; 1 Thessalonians 1:2-10; 2 Thessalonians 1:3-12).
      1. No such encouragement is found in the Galatians opening.
      2. Paul immediately begins discussing his disappointment and their problem.
      3. Obviously, Paul did not like what happened!
    2. Look at a brief flow of Paul’s thoughts in his communication with gentile converts to Christ.
      1. First, he expressed his disappointment in 1:6-10.
      2. Second, he declared his commission from God to teach the gentiles (God’s commission is superior to the Judiazers’ concern). (1:11-17)
      3. Third, he discussed the reason for his first visit to Jerusalem. (1:18-24)
      4. Fourth, he discussed the reason for his visit to Jerusalem 14 years after his conversion, and the leadership’s response to his work with gentiles. (2:1-10)
      5. Fifth, he affirmed (a) his spiritual stature by his confrontation with Peter (Cephas) concerning gentiles, and (b) affirmed salvation is through Jesus Christ. (2:11-21)
      6. Sixth, the vehicle for righteousness in God has always been faith in God. (3:1-14).
      7. Seventh, God’s covenant is based on Jesus Christ, not the law. (3:15-22)
      8. Eighth, the purpose of the law was to lead people to Jesus Christ. (3:23-29)
      9. Ninth, Paul’s first illustration was to emphasize the ineffectiveness of law. (4:1-7)
      10. Tenth, Paul’s urgings: (4:8-20)
        1. Salvation is not found by changing "systems" (going from the "system" of idolatry to the "system" of Judaism).
        2. Paul’s affirmation of a personal relationship and concern for them.
      11. Eleventh, Paul’s second illustration was to emphasize salvation is through Christ. (4:21-31)
        [Paul’s transition: "Because you are, as gentile Christians, free from the Jewish system and the law, does not mean you are free to live as you please."]
      12. Twelfth, Christ did not free you to become the slaves of a different system. (5:1-12)
        1. You were freed to choose to serve others. (5:13-15)
        2. You were freed to escape your old lifestyle and accept a new lifestyle. (5:16-24)
        3. You were freed to be guided by God’s Spirit instead of self-centered passions. (5:25, 26)
      13. Thirteenth, Paul’s admonitions about appropriate Christian conflict in regard to proper treatment of others (a) who are tempted, (b) who are deceived about the purpose of physical existence, and (c) who think spirituality is primarily a physical consideration. (6:1-16)
  3. Things I ask you to note.
    1. The Judaizing teachers, Jews who believed in Jesus and were baptized, successfully created doubt and confusion among gentile converts.
      1. They were the "experts" who knew the way God worked chronologically before these gentiles became Christians.
        1. "We know more than you know so we must be right."
        2. "You should not trust Paul–he used to be one of us!"
        3. "Admit your ignorance and trust our history!"
        4. "We know what we are talking about!"
      2. Paul’s message, though from God, was quite different.
        1. Jewish Christians like Paul, Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, Aquilia, and Priscilla were the exceptions among Jewish converts, not the typical majority.
        2. The teaching that God, from the time of Abraham (and before), prepared to provide a solution through Jesus Christ rather than through the Jewish nation, was strange to most Jewish people.
        3. It was easy to believably declare Paul and his message of faith being superior to the law false, because that concept was foreign to the Jewish concept, even among most Jewish Christians.
      3. Please understand that from the beginning of Christianity there was conflict and difficulty because Christianity meant change.
        1. If your concept of early Christianity was this ideal existence where every Christian was at peace and in harmony with all other Christians, I urge you to listen to scripture and change your concept.
        2. The conflict between Jewish Christians and gentile Christians is one of the dominant themes of the New Testament.
          1. What God wanted was for all to be saved in Christ.
          2. However, that is not what many people wanted.
          3. If it was suggested that God produced salvation through Jesus Christ in ways they (people) did not like or want, many were offended.
          4. The fact that this concept came from God meant almost nothing to many.
          5. People’s preferences too often are more powerful than God’s revelation–and that includes people today!
    2. The solution:
      1. The solution today is the same as the solution was in the first century: mutual love and respect.
        1. Neither are simple; both are extremely difficult.
        2. I may not agree with you, but I am your brother, not the judge of your eternal destiny.
      2. If you are in Christ, I must kindly respect you because you are in God’s family–not my family.
      3. We are siblings to each other, and neither of us is the other’s parent.
      4. When believers in Christ who have repented and been baptized treat other believers in Christ who have repented and been baptized with hate, false accusations, and contempt, the whole family of God suffers.
      5. When Christians treat Christians with contempt, we ridicule ourselves in the eyes of those who are not in Christ–we destroy our credibility and are looked upon with contempt.
  4. I would like to close with some readings–would you listen and silently pray for God’s family.
    • Galatians 5:13-15,
      "For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another."
    • Romans 14:13-23,
      "Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way. I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats and gives offense. It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles. The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin."
    • Romans 15:1-6,
      "Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.” For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
    • Romans 12:9-16,
      "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation."
    • 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12,
      "Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders and not be in any need."
    • John 13:12-17,
      "So when He had washed their feet, and taken His garments and reclined at the table again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them."

Help us make it obvious that the church is composed of people who seek to be God’s family who respect and love others. You do not have control over everyone. Yet, only you control yourself. In all circumstances and situations, control yourself.

Holy Manners: Love (part 2)

Posted by on under Bulletin Articles

As I share these thoughts, I am not one who has it all figured out. No human, man or woman, “has it all figured out.” Humans encourage. God through Jesus Christ models. Appreciating human examples of godly influence is appropriate. However, Christians revere only one model: God’s actions and behavior through Jesus Christ.

The powerful affirmation of God’s love for us is found in Romans 5:8. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

While we were everything God is not, before we committed to any solution God gave for our salvation, before we pledged to transform our emotions or behavior, God paid the full price for our forgiveness at enormous cost to Himself. God loved us while we were His enemies. In the same context, Paul asked, “How can you doubt His commitment to you when God loved you enough to forgive you prior to your commitment to conversion?”

The relevant point to Christians as we define godly love is this: If God loves us that much, how much should we love other Christians? How much should we love people?

Love is not a weak emotion and behavior! It is infinitely challenging! To love believing, penitent, baptized Christians with whom we disagree is an enormous challenge! It is extremely difficult to understand that Christians cannot represent God’s truth by attacking people! Such does not reflect the way God in Christ functions!

In the Ephesians scripture, note Paul’s concepts. (1) There is a fitting and unfitting way for Christians to behave. (2) Fitting Christian behavior includes humility, gentleness, and patience. (3) Godly patience forbears [endures each other’s faults]. (4) Such humility, gentleness, and patience are possible in Christians because [like God] their love for one another is greater than the faults they observe. (5) These qualities preserve unity and bind Christians together in peace.

They are not unified because they conform. They are unified because their love for each other comes from God’s love for all of them. They do not live in peace because they agree on everything. They live in peace because God’s love is the source of their peace.

Anyone can live in unity and peace with those who agree with them. Only the godly can live in unity and peace with those who do not agree with them.

The #1 holy manner in Christians is to act with love-even when we endure the unlovable!

The Agony of Change (Part 3)

Posted by on May 2, 2007 under Sermons

Perhaps among the most difficult spiritual analysis to make is the analysis of the anatomy of faith. What is faith? Most Christians are more proficient at telling people what faith is not than they are at telling people what faith is. I often fear, with all of us, our concept of faith is more a reaction to faith concepts we reject instead of a concept of faith arising from understanding scripture.

Faith always, at its foundation, speaks to our personal relationship with God. Faith believes God is. Faith believes God acts. Faith believes God rewards those who trust Him. Faith trusts God to keep His promises. Faith understands God is the source of human hope that is greater than death.

The essence of faith involves God’s character. Jesus came as a human because of God’s character. God made Jesus the Christ in his death and resurrection because of His character. Salvation and its incredible forgiveness exists because of God’s character. The church, God’s family on earth, exists because of God’s character. Hope exists because of God’s character. God’s promises may be trusted without doubt because of God’s character. Christians will never be abandoned by God because of God’s character.

The beginning of faith involves the person’s conviction that God knows what He is doing. Even when we do not understand what God is doing, He knows what He is doing. Even when we question what God is doing, God knows what He is doing. Even when we are distressed by God’s actions, God knows what He is doing.

Humans often question God’s acts. Humans are often distressed by God’s acts. God rarely, if ever, does things as we would like them done.

The person who has faith never reaches the point that he or she understands everything God does. The person who has faith never reaches the point that he or she is never distressed by God’s actions. The contrast between a person of faith and a faithless person is seen in this fact: the person of faith trusts that God knows what He is doing; the faithless person has no confidence in the fact that God knows what He is doing.

All of us form perceptions of what God should or should not do. When God’s actions fit those perceptions, people of faith are not troubled. However, when God’s actions do not fit our perceptions of what is appropriate behavior for God, people of faith are deeply troubled.

  1. If you understand this, you grasp what a quandary the salvation of gentiles outside of Judaism placed Jewish Christians in.
    1. For 2000 years, Jews understood from God they were His people. (See scriptures such as Exodus 19:1-6; Deuteronomy 7:6-8; and such related scriptures.)
    2. The dividing line between them and other nations was that they were not to be idolatrous (See Exodus 20:1-6).
      1. The first thing delivered to Israel was this understanding about God: He could not be represented by any form of idol.
      2. He was the Deliverer, the only God.
      3. Idolatry must be totally rejected.
    3. It took God many generations to get idolatry out of the Israelite people!
      1. How then could God save people who worshipped idols without using Judaism to get idolatry out of them?
      2. How could people who worshipped idols go immediately from idolatry to salvation in Jesus Christ?
      3. Was not Christian existence threatened by a people who went from the moral systems of idols to the moral system of Jesus Christ without understanding God’s character as did the Jews?
    4. If someone was to go from idolatry to salvation in Jesus, he (or she) must yield at least to the basic concepts of Judaism! (Remember the insistence of converted Pharisees in Acts 15:5?)
      1. The fact that God produced gentiles’ salvation by (a) paying their redemption debt in Jesus’ death (blood) and by (b) providing them hope that deserved confidence through Jesus’ resurrection was beyond these Jewish Christian’s comprehension!
      2. What God did in Jesus’ death and resurrection attacked these Jews’ concept of obedience.
      3. The fact that God provided the salvation that did not depend on culture, nationality, past revelation (scripture), or past human acts defied their understanding. (Remember how difficult it was for Peter to grasp this truth in Acts 10?)
      4. God either did not know what He did, or Jewish people who claimed such things (like Paul) misrepresented God.
      5. This is the background of the Jewish council in Acts 15.
  2. The thought is astounding.
    1. People could come from any culture or any background and be saved Christians because of God’s accomplishments in Jesus’ death and resurrection.
      1. So Jews could be Jews and be Christians saved in Jesus Christ.
      2. In the same way, gentiles could be gentiles and be Christians saved in Jesus Christ.
      3. That is considered by us to be an astounding but wonderful concept as long as we refer to a situation about 2000 years ago.
        1. Jews did not have to become gentiles to be saved.
        2. Nor did gentiles have to become Jews to be saved.
        3. Each could retain their culture and traditions of origin (that did not conflict with God’s ethics) and be in Christ.
    2. Many of us have no difficulty with that concept if we are talking about what happens in other nations, especially cultures in struggling nations.
      1. When we do foreign mission work, we stress the truth, "God can save you right here right now–you do not have to do things American-style to be saved."
      2. Thus, men can sit on one side and women on another in a worship assembly, and it is okay.
      3. Two adults can control everyone’s children in an assembly, and it is okay.
      4. Buildings can wear the marks of the culture that denotes the building as a church building, and it is okay.
      5. Baptisms can occur in different settings than in America, and it is okay.
      6. Women can dress quite differently from American women, and it is okay.
      7. Christian men can conduct church business quite differently from Christian American men, and it is okay.
      8. The church can meet the legal requirements of the culture by having proper registration with the national government, and it is okay.
      9. Most of us would affirm without difficulty that people do not have to become Americans to be saved.
    3. If you understand those realities, you understand the background of Acts 21:17-26.
      1. First, consider the pre-Christian background of the Christian we know as the apostle Paul.
        1. Consider what he said about himself in Galatians 1:11-17.
          "For I would have you know, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ. For you have heard of my former manner of life in Judaism, how I used to persecute the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it; and I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries among my countrymen, being more extremely zealous for my ancestral traditions. But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus."
        2. Consider further what he said about himself in 1 Timothy 1:12-16:
          "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life."
        3. Consider still further what he said about himself in Acts 26:9-12:
          "So then, I thought to myself that I had to do many things hostile to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. And this is just what I did in Jerusalem; not only did I lock up many of the saints in prisons, having received authority from the chief priests, but also when they were being put to death I cast my vote against them. And as I punished them often in all the synagogues, I tried to force them to blaspheme; and being furiously enraged at them, I kept pursuing them even to foreign cities. While so engaged as I was journeying to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests …"
        4. Before his conversion, this man did anything he could do to destroy Christianity.
          1. He regarded Christianity to be a heresy that composed the greatest threat in existence to Judaism.
          2. He agreed to the execution of Jews who believed Jesus was the Christ.
          3. It was this violent, hostile, accomplished Jew who became the apostle to the gentiles.
      2. Now consider what a problem he was to Jews and Judaising teachers after becoming a Christian and converting gentiles.
      3. Look carefully at Acts 21:17-26.
        1. Paul reported in detail to the Jewish leadership what he did as he converted gentiles to Christ.
        2. The leadership understood and were happy.
        3. However, Paul’s presence in Jerusalem presented a problem.
          1. Paul’s work in evangelizing was often controversial (see Acts 13:16 and chapter 14 as an example).
          2. Most Jewish Christians did not abandon Jewish religious ways (21:20). The moral/ethical expectations of Judaism and the moral/ethical expectations of Jesus Christ are frequently the same.
          3. Paul’s evangelism was falsely reported–Jews in other places said Paul taught Jews to stop Jewish practices (21:21). Paul did not teach Jews who were converted to cease Jewish practices.
          4. The problem: how were they to correct this misrepresentation of Paul?
          5. Conclusion: let Paul do a very Jewish thing to prove Paul was Jewish in his personal Christian preferences–he just did not teach gentiles to do things in Jewish ways. (There was a distinction between what you were culturally and nationally, and what you were religiously).
          6. Paul did not have to become a gentile to teach gentiles.
          7. Gentile salvation did not depend on a gentile doing things as Jews did them. It depended on faith in Jesus Christ.
          8. Paul and the Jerusalem leadership understood that distinction, but most Jewish Christians did not.
        4. If your immediate reaction is a negative emotion, note the first recorded place two apostles went after the conversions of Jews and proselytes in Acts 2 was to the temple to pray (Acts 3:1).

There are two enormous temptations in this matter among American Christians in American congregations.

  • Temptation one: to declare submission to preference is a declaration of loyalty to Jesus Christ.
  • Temptation two: to confuse preference with teaching from God.

All Christians are entitled to live by their preferences. No Christian is entitled to impose his or her preferences on other Christians. Read Paul’s affirmation of this fact in Romans 14.

We all need an improved understanding of Romans 14:22:
"The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves."

This is not a statement to impose "my" preferences on "your" convictions, but an encouragement to live by your convictions while preserving unity in the family of believers.

In the next lesson as we conclude this emphasis, I urge you to read the letter to the Galatian Christians. I urge you to read it once, but read it more than once if possible.

The Agony of Change (Part 2)

Posted by on May 1, 2007 under Sermons

Everything changes! Ask anyone 60 or above, and they will confirm that truth. For generations, the American elderly have talked about "the good old days." Mostly, when we talk about "the good old days" we talk about pleasant childhood memories.

With serious, honest reflection, the old days were not so good from one perspective. What is good about outhouses, no running water (of any temperature) in the house, wood-burning cook stoves, houses with little or no insulation, long hours of hard work, no safety rules, very limited medical help, lower life expectancies, and a constant struggle against poverty?

I am not a big fan of technology. Computers mystify me. Modern vehicles confuse me. I still understand repairing instead of throwing away and getting a new one. I am freaked out by systems that understand me better than I understand them. The availability of far more information than I can master intimidates me.

Do not get me wrong! I love microwaves! I greatly enjoy fast hot water! The comfort of modern vehicles is astounding! Our current standard of living is wonderful! Air conditioning is awesome! Quick information is addicting! Medical options are incredible!

When change occurs, it always is a combination of the desirable and the frightening. Religious change always challenges Christians to be a people of faith in God rather than a people of anxiety.

  1. Have you ever taken the time to consider the changes confronting Christians in the first century?
    1. Consider the Jews who became Christians.
      1. They came from a focus that said the nation of Israel is all that concerned God to an understanding that all people were of concern to God (consider Genesis 12:3–all families of the earth; Jonah 4:10, 11–Should I not have compassion on Ninevah; Isaiah 42:6, 49:6–a light to the nations or Gentiles; Matthew 28:19–all the nations).
      2. They came from the concept of holy geography [the city of Jerusalem from the time of Solomon] (Deuteronomy 12:5, 11, 13, 14; 1 Kings 9:3) to the concept that the whole world is God’s and appropriate for worship.
      3. They came from the concept of a priesthood (Exodus 28:1-4; Numbers 18:7) to the concept of a community of priests (1 Peter 2:9, 10).
      4. They came from a controlling high priest (Leviticus 16) who represented them before God to Jesus Christ (Hebrews 9:11,12).
      5. They came from a temple which was the only site of sacrifice and a place of prayer (see 1 Kings 8:27-53) to the concept that their bodies were God’s temple (see 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20).
      6. They came from a concept of national worship in one geographical place (Deuteronomy 16:16) to a concept of personal worship with no national center (Revelation 3:4).
      7. They came from an emphasis heavy on structured ways to an emphasis on committed hearts.
      8. Those are enormous changes!
    2. Consider the idolatrous gentiles who became Christians.
      1. They came from a faith that there were many gods to acknowledge and not offend, to an understanding there was only one actual, living God (Acts 17:22, 23; 1 Corinthians 8).
      2. Most of them came from understandings that regarded anger, lying, drunkenness, stealing, and sexual exploitation as morally acceptable to an understanding that declared all those things were immoral.
      3. They came from acknowledging all temples as sacred places to an understanding there were no physical temples or sacred places.
      4. Those are enormous changes!
    3. Many changes that create in us great anxiety are small in comparison to those changes!
      1. Learning how to combine gentile believers in the resurrected Jesus Christ with Jewish believers in Jesus Christ was an enormous challenge!
      2. To increase our understanding of their problem, it would be as demanding as combining former Caucasian adulterers, former African-American pimps, and former Hispanic alcoholics into an established congregation that ignored members who used meth.
        1. The variety of needs would be enormous!
        2. The only common thing all those people would have is faith in Jesus Christ.
        3. The challenge would be enormous–and only possible through God’s grace!
  2. Again, if you think this is an exaggeration consider carefully Acts 15:1-29.
    1. Paul and Barnabas just returned to Antioch (a gentile congregation) that sent them on their journey into principally gentile areas (Acts 131-3)
      1. Often in their work, they first went to a synagogue (the Jewish place of Sabbath assembly) and then to the gentile community.
        1. For an example, consider Acts 13:16-49.
        2. The "men of Israel" were Jews.
        3. "You who fear God" were gentiles.
        4. Gentiles engaged in serious study of Judaism were welcome to attend Jewish synagogues.
      2. What Paul and Barnabas found upon returning to Antioch shocked them.
        1. Some Jewish Christians from Judea told the gentiles Christians in Antioch that they could not be saved (forgiven of sins) unless they were circumcised as a Jewish religious practice.
        2. Paul and Barnabas strongly confronted these Christians, but they could not settle the issue.
        3. All decided the matter must be referred to the apostles and elders in Jerusalem. The first recorded instance of using outside resources?
      3. On the way from Antioch to Jerusalem, Paul and Barnabas reported in gentile areas the conversion of gentiles.
        1. They reported in detail.
        2. The end result was "great joy."
      4. In Jerusalem, Paul and Barnabas reported all God did through them to the apostles and elders.
        1. Some converted Pharisees insisted that gentile converts had to be circumcised and observe the law of Moses in order to be Christians–it was "necessary."
        2. The apostles and elders called a meeting to be dedicated to discussing this issue of gentile conversion (the Jews [before Jesus] converted gentiles to Judaism–such was known as making proselytes. See Matthew 23:15.).
      5. The meeting:
        1. The meeting resulted in "much debate"–it was an emotional, contested matter that definitely contained two strong opinions.
        2. Finally, James quoted from the Old Testament prophets verifying God’s interest in the gentiles.
          1. He declared it was not necessary for gentile Christians to be circumcised and keep the law of Moses.
          2. He said gentile Christians should observe four Jewish standards–not to eat things given to idols, not to commit fornication, not to eat strangled things, and not to eat blood.
          3. He affirmed Jewish Christians should not be concerned about the teachings of the law of Moses because those teachings were emphasized every Sabbath in synagogues.
          4. As Paul affirmed (15:11), gentiles must depend on God’s grace for salvation just like Jews must depend on God’s grace for salvation.
        3. A letter was sent to gentile congregations verifying the Jerusalem decision not to place Jewish practices on gentile Christians.
          1. Gentiles were saved by God’s grace just as were Jews.
          2. Gentiles did not have to accept Jewish practices to be saved.
  3. As you will see from scripture, this Jewish decision in Jerusalem did not end this highly controversial, highly emotional issue–Jewish converts to Christ and gentile converts to Christ were just too different in their behaviors. (Their cultures and backgrounds clashed.)
    1. The Jerusalem Christian Leadership understood more about God’s concerns than did many Jewish converts.
      1. Just like today, a decision made by informed people with evidence from scripture did not end the matter.
      2. Just like today, personal preferences and expectations were superior to God’s intent stated by scripture.
      3. Just like today, there were people more concerned about their fears than God’s declarations.
    2. Solutions are never as simple as making an announcement.
      1. We do not quickly turn loose of matters we feel passionate about.
      2. There is no substitute for understanding God’s character and concerns in reforming our passions expressed in our desires.
  4. Consider some things you should notice in Acts 15:
    1. Paul, Barnabas, and the Christians at Antioch felt no shame in seeking help beyond themselves when they could not resolve a matter.
    2. The meeting the Jerusalem elders called was open to all factions and views–it was not an announced decision enforced on uninformed people.
    3. It was a meeting dedicated to one matter.
    4. James, who was in charge of the meeting:
      1. Recognized God at work where God was at work–even when God’s work was unpopular with one group of Christians.
      2. Understood God’s purpose and kept the focus on God–not human preferences.
      3. Refused to let anxiety determine the outcome and the course taken.
      4. Asked gentiles to exhibit their faith in Christ by their behavior–live consistently with their new moral understandings.
      5. Included the "whole church" in the decision to send a letter to gentile congregations.
      6. Focused on the positive and the encouraging.

In every generation there will be something to learn and understand. The problems and challenges of one generation will not be the problems and challenges of the next generation. The conclusion of any age group that says: "We already addressed that so it does not need to be discussed or understood," or "Just accept the conclusions of the past and you will not have that problem," solve nothing.

The solution to challenges must always arise from mutual respect because we all are in Christ. Never seek a solution by questioning and destroying people’s confidence in Christ. The effects of character assassination produce consequences that last a long, long time.

Fitness Walk

Posted by on April 29, 2007 under Sermons

Unity (Ephesians 4:1-6)
Psalm 133: How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.

It may seem strange to us that oil running down the head and beard of Moses’ brother, Aaron, the High Priest, should be good and pleasant. Our experience is different, but the anointing oil poured out generously – so generously that it soaks the collar of the priest’s robe – is an image of God’s gracious blessings being poured out on us.
What immediately strikes us in the Psalm is that all this wonderful experience of goodness and eternal life is connected to God’s people living together in unity. Unity is really special, but sometimes we take it for granted or we overlook it because we are anxious or concerned about other things. That’s easy to do when we think that unity is our project, but the Psalmist and Paul (in Ephesians) agree that God has created unity.
We do not come together to create unity, but simply to proclaim it. We are bound together by God who pours out the blessings of life.
Unity is God’s work. He made it so. We simply keep it. We keep it by conducting our lives in such a way that we understand how we have this ones in God.
One Body and One Lord (We are united as the church with a single head over the church)
One Spirit and One Faith (We are united through our common faith with a single spirit)
One Hope and One Baptism (We are united through our baptism with a single hope)
We believe that there is One God and that shapes the way we live. Unity is oneness in God.

Diversity (Ephesians 4:7-12)
But unity doesn’t mean that everyone is exactly the same. Unity doesn’t come from making us all alike and having us do the same thing. In fact, the unity comes from gifting people with various sorts of spiritual gifts and roles in the body but having those diverse parts work together.
Let’s not confuse unity with uniformity. Uniformity is like Henry Ford’s old statement about the Model T – “You can any color you want as long as it is black.” Oneness in God doesn’t mean that we each get handed the same uniform set of gifts and talents.
Our diversity is just as much a gift of God as is our unity. Christ, who is triumphant over death, gives gifts. Some are apostles, some are prophets, some are evangelists, some are pastors and teachers.
        What’s Happening at West-Ark – Family Meeting tonight – Multiple roles and talents
1. God has given each one of us a gift.
2. The gifts serve a purpose within the body of Christ. They are not ends in themselves.
One role isn’t better than another; they all work collaboratively for the same purpose: maturity. God is working through these various gifts to gain the same single result: maturity

Maturity (Ephesians 4:13-16)
The body of Christ grows “organically.” The church is a growing organism. It can be healthy or unhealthy. [V. 14] When we are not growing, we are immature. Paul loves to mix his metaphors: we are “infants” thrown around by whatever wave or wind comes our way. The common element of this metaphor mix is that we are vulnerable. One of the hardest things to learn as a parent is that you cannot shelter your children forever. Really our duty as parents is to help our children grow up. As the old saying goes, we teach them to stand on their own two feet.
We often say that the leaders of the church are responsible for feeding the flock, but Scripture doesn’t say much about “spoon feeding” the flock. We are expected to mature. One of the worst ways to protect the people of God from false doctrine is to run around nervously reacting to anything that seems dangerous. The best way to protect the people of God is to help the people of God grow up.
The alternative to being vulnerable to the extremes and schemes is to become more and more like Christ. In the ancient world, the head was regarded as the source of growth. So also in the body of Christ, the head of the church (Christ) is the source of growth and the goal of growth.
As we grow in truth and love, we develop the character of Christ; thus our “health” as a congregation increases and we keep the unity that God has given us. And the diversity doesn’t mean we are unhealthy as long as the different gifts and talents and leaders and contributors work towards maturity.
1. Unity: The head directs the growth.
2. Diversity: Each part does its work.

Fitness Walk
The other metaphor in this text (other than growth and health) is “walking.” Going back to verse 1, we are to walk worthy of our calling. Walking is a biblical metaphor for the way we live. We understand this in phrases like “If you talk the talk, you had better walk the walk.” Our worthy walk is a health walk. Our “walk” should be worthy of our calling. We are walking toward maturity in Christ.

Keep this in mind for our Family Meeting: Our programs, budgets, policies, buildings, etc. are not sacred in and of themselves. We don’t contribute and maintain them simply for the sake of doing sake. They have a greater purpose. They are resources and therefore means to an end.
Something as simple as a hammer and nail are resources. But when is the last time you read a book or watched a program all about hammering? Why is that? Because hammering is not the end. It is a means to an end. It is a technique that serves the purpose of constructing: building a house. [But even a house is not the final goal. A house is subordinate to a home. A carpenter can build a house, but the carpenter’s family makes the home.]

Our goal is maturity in Christ and all of our resources and programs are aimed at helping us develop the character and virtues (see v. 2) that are reflective of that. Our “walk” toward maturity leads to a “fit body.” We are after all very diverse people with a diversity of gifts, but God has fit us together just as he sees fit.
Walking with a purpose and destination …

God gave us the unity. God gave us the diversity. Let us strive for maturity.

Holy Manners: Love (part 1)

Posted by on April 26, 2007 under Bulletin Articles

Godliness’ foundation manner is “agape” love. The Greek language (the primary, original language of the New Testament) used four words for love. The English language has only one word for love.

The Greek word often used in the New Testament is some form of “agape.” Its uniqueness is this: It is not based on feeling (emotion), but on intent. One treats others as he or she wishes to be treated. This treatment is not based on how the Christian is treated, but on how God and Jesus Christ would behave.

Four scriptures come to my mind quickly when I consider the loving Christian.

“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:46-48).

Even if I do not feel positively toward you, I treat you with respect as does my God.

“So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith” (Galatians 6:10).

A Christian seeks good for all. He or she “goes beyond the anticipated” in doing good to other believing, repenting, baptized Christians.

“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

The ability and willingness to show love’s respect is the primary mark of discipleship among Christians.

“… We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies” (1 Corinthians 8:1).

Few care what we know until they see what we know affecting our behavior, making us better people. Until a Christian’s knowledge leads to love, it produces arrogance.

Two of these statements were made by Jesus. Two were made by Paul. All four address extremely difficult situations: (1) the treatment of those you do not like; (2) the treatment of weak Christians who fall to temptation; (3) the understanding that service is superior to control; (4) idolatry [that affected most gentile Christians].

For 2,000 years horrible things have happened in God’s family when Christians have failed to understand the manners of love.