Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak, and Slow to Anger

Posted by on August 10, 2008 under Sermons

Self-Control and Speech

Learning how to say just enough, but not too much is standard for interviews …

Throughout the ages, philosophers and moralists have offered advice on controlling one’s speech. They encourage us to be silent and speak briefly. Silence is safer. It avoids misspeaking.

  • “How can that speech govern others that cannot itself be governed?”- Seneca, Roman Philosopher

  • “He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.”- Lao Tzu

  • “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”- Proverbs 10:19

  • “?Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”- Abraham Lincoln

  • “The good Lord gave you two ears and one mouth so that you would listen twice as much as you talk.”- my auto shop teacher

According to James, controlling our speech is more than a matter of self-control. We are meant to be the result of God’s word implanted in us. His word of truth gives birth to a new creation. (1:18-21) So, when it comes to the way we use words, there is more at stake than our reputation.

James says that the tongue (by which he means the power of human speech) is set on fire by hell. He means that this incredible gift of speech is corrupted by the power of evil. If you want to find the frontline of the battle of good and evil it is often in our words …

  • We are caught up in a tension between the wisdom from above and the wisdom from below.
  • We are either friends of God or friends of the world.

Our speech (and this is especially true of the teacher) hovers in the space between that tension. The way we speak and act is a part of what God is doing to change the world. So James raises the bar and calls us to “perfection.”

  • But at the same time James reminds us how hard it is to be perfect.
  • James is cautioning us to think twice about accepting the responsibility of being a leader or teacher because of this difficulty in speaking perfectly.
  • We don’t have to interpret this neurotically as if some sort of absolute perfection is called for and one can never say anything at all. We need not interpret this hyper-literally as if we can never say something erroneous – even if we don’t know it.
  • We live in a day and age when every single word is placed under a social microscope. Words and phrases are parsed and twisted to elicit meanings that the speaker never intended. James is not calling for perfection from the cynical lens of society.
  • Rather, James is calling us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (1:19). He has already stated this and 3:1-12 is an elaboration on that.

Perfection is Maturity

It is not too much to ask that we should keep our speech perfect from the sort of words and language that are borne out of immaturity, anxiety, and anger.

Boasting, slander, gossip, grumbling are types of speech that are not only rude, but they place us under God’s judgment.

  • Judgment of God – We are to speak and act as those who will be judged by the law of freedom. 2:12 This is the law of love (2:8) that James has already mentioned. It is rooted in the command to love your neighbor as yourself.

Consistency and Character – Love God, Love One Another

When a righteous Israelite spoke God’s name, he or she would say “Yahweh, blessed be his name.” To speak the name of God is something very holy and heavy. How audacious that we should speak his name. When we speak it, we bless it.

  • With the same power and function of speech, one can utter stinging, burning words of condemnation and scorn toward others. It isn’t just that these word are unkind, rude, and hurtful (which they are), but there is a problem on a much larger scale – humans are created in God’s image. It makes no sense that we would bless the name of God and then curse anyone who bears the likeness and spirit of God. That is an inconsistency.

If the source of imperfect, harmful speech is not foolish patter or pontificating, then it is typically anger …

Anger seems to accomplish much. An angry employer drives his employees to greater productivity. An angry husband and father keeps his wife and children in submission and “runs a tight ship.” An angry wife and mother gets her way as the rest of the family does not dare to risk her ire. An angry church leader can bully the congregation, so that no dissension appears within the flock, and a happy uniformity of belief and opinion prevails.

Anger is epidemic. It’s too easy to play the “I’m offended” card. An angry person can intimidate others so that everyone else is cautious of that person’s sensitivities.

Edwin Friedman — “Beware the insensitivities of the sensitive!”

Anger does not work God’s righteousness … A wrathful person stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression. (Proverbs 29:22)

It’s not too much to ask that we show some judgment with the words we use. After all, if we don’t … God will!

But if no one can tame the tongue, what’s the alternative? Are we just supposed to keep our mouths shut and smile and speak nice? Hardly.

No one can tame the tongue – but God can. We can ask for the wisdom that comes from above. We can receive the implanted word that saves us. And it saves our speech.

In the coming weeks we will see that James speaks of a way that Friends of God employ the power of speech in ways that do not harm and tear down, but instead can use words and deeds to bless others, to confess sin, to pray for others, and to sing encouragement.

A portion of the sermon above is taken from the article “Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak, Slow to Anger: A Plea to the Commissioners to the 71st General Assembly” by James S. Gidley which was printed in New Horizons and can be found here: http://www.opc.org/new_horizons/NH04/06b.html