Increasing Love and Godly Behavior – Part 2

Posted by Chris on October 31, 2004 under Sermons

One of the objectives of the West-Ark congregation is to increase in love and godly behavior. Last week we learned from Jesus that love is active. We are to love God with our whole being and we are to love our neighbors. We demonstrate that love by actively serving others and showing mercy and kindness. We do not choose whom we will treat as neighbor, rather we choose to be a neighbor.
Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18 also instructs us that love and mercy are active. They must show up in our every day behavior. He calls us to the sort of behavior that acts in love and grace/mercy and preserves the unity of the church – not unity at all costs, but unity through communication with one another and communion with Jesus himself.

Jesus’ teaching about Church Community (18:1-14)

• The disciples ask "Who’s the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Who’s the boss? Who’s in charge? Who shows the qualities of the best and the one who gets God’s favor?
• The Least: Kingdom virtues are quite different from worldly virtues. In the kingdom, the least are not ignored. The weak and the humble are not abused. The kingdom isn’t a dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest rule. It is a place where even the humblest child is among the most important.
  • Sin destroys community; love and godly behavior preserve it! The Lord of the kingdom is serious about the deadly forces that bring death to the people in this kingdom community. 1) Sin causes the least, the little ones, to suffer most so in love we discipline ourselves – – self-discipline and self-control. When a father or mother in a family refuses to control anger, addictions, lusts, greed then who suffers? Everyone, including the little ones. This is also true of the church community. How many churches have been hurt by members and leaders who will not restrain their own pride, anger, greed, dissatisfaction? It is better to do without that which causes someone to sin and to live maimed or blind than to have all the resources of the world as one goes barreling straight to hell. 2) Love demands we seek out the lost …
• The Lost: In the kingdom, there are no acceptable losses. The Lord is not willing that anyone should be lost. This calls us to the kind of love and concern for community that the Lord has. Not just a passive concern, but an active concern that goes out to find the lost. Usually we describe this as evangelism, but evangelism (proclaiming/speaking the good news) is more than recruiting new members. It involves bringing the lost into the kingdom and bringing them back when they stray. That’s evangelism? Sure, if you understand that evangelism is communication of the truth, then understand that evangelism also involves the on-going communication of gospel love in the church. That’s how Jesus chose to describe it. After mentioning the shepherd that goes to bring back the lost sheep, he teaches us very practically what it means to practice church communication …

Jesus’ Teaching on Church Communication (18:15-17)

• This is not "church discipline" in the sense of a legal outline for organizational control. This is communication in love. Look at this process and consider it in the context of mercy and love rather than institutional church discipline (which is not the context of the chapter):
  1. Go to your brother or sister (note the family language!) who has offended you/sinned against you – just between the two of you – and if he/she listens to you have won him/her back.
     • You do the going and just between the two of you. Sometimes we want to wait around and nurse the wound and we let it fester because the other person doesn’t notice how we’ve been hurt. That is a form of control that tries to punish the other but only hurts you.
     • Sins against you/offends you – sometimes we dilute the meaning by exchanging sin for offense. The term offense in this context goes back to the stumbling mentioned in v. 6. (The one who causes another to sin). We do not use the term offense in our modern usage in that way. We claim offense over things we just do not like or things that make us uncomfortable. We have to let some things go.
     • We need to talk to one another in loving constructive ways that seek to win each other over. And we have to do so humbly because one of two things is possible – either you have misunderstood the other person or the other person needs to overcome sin – and you are there to help them, not condemn them!
  2. If he or she will not listen take one or two others along. Sometimes a sin can be so powerful that we need help. But again the goal is to win the other person over. The goal is reconciliation.
     • This text does not say bring in the authorities. There is no mention of elders or ministers here. Often these are the logical choice as they are those we trust to minister to the wounded or to do the work of reconciliation. But anyone who can preserve the dignity and unity of the few involved and is mature enough to work toward reconciliation in Christ’s name without being entrenched in the conflict is a good choice. But this should not be the starting place. Don’t bring someone in if you haven’t tried the one-on-one approach first!
  3. Tell it to the church. Keep in mind that this is step 3. Everything else has been exhausted. And this is communication – not excommunication. This is an alert for prayer and help. Just as we bring before the congregation the names and needs of those who are ill or injured can’t we also do that with those who are in spiritual crisis? Why would we judge or make that the focus of gossip – we don’t do that with the ill or injured.
  4. If he or she refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him or her like a pagan or tax collector. This is the ultimate step. Now keep in mind that the offender has been given every opportunity to reconcile, but has refused at least three levels of effort to win him back. (And there’s no rule about when to progress to the next level!) Communication has fallen on a harden heart. So, we have here a sad affirmation of what is – this person doesn’t want to live like a citizen of the kingdom. Even at this level however the goal is still reconciliation. Repentance is still a possibility. Maybe the seriousness of this action shows that sin is serious problem.
• We put more weight on the phrase "but if he refuses to listen" than the phrase "you have won your brother back." And because of this we jump to the last step convinced that someone will not listen to us.
• Think of how much we miss out on because we don’t even act on step 1. Because we do not go and talk and listen we allow our imagination and emotions to run wild. And don’t think it would be any better if we were all just reasonable. Reason can be distorted also and we can rationalize inaction with endless justifications or institutional proceedings. The anonymous letter is just such a "so-called" rational approach. We think we have met our obligation to communicate peacefully by sending a message but denying ourselves and the other person the opportunity to agree and gather in Jesus’ name. Once a preacher received one of these anonymous letters in response to a statement he made in a sermon. He opened the envelope and it simply said, "Fool!" The next Sunday he brought the letter with him into the pulpit and said, "Last Sunday I experienced something quite unique. I have received many messages without a signature. Now for the first time someone has given me a signature without a message."

Jesus’ Teaching on Church Communion (18:18-20)

• Binding and loosing: When we are offended we want to go to authorities. Children tell their parents. Neighbors phone the police. Taxpayers write their congressmen. Classes of people summon armies of lawyers to go after faceless corporations. We want authority on our side because we know that someone has to win. Someone has to be right. But Jesus teaches that real authority is the privilege of the church – not the appointed officials. The Lord’s authority resides in the midst of his people where he dwells. They have power to bind and loose not because Jesus transferred power. No, because Jesus lives in his church and we are the agents of binding and loosing authority.
• We are missing out when we make too much of this business that sins are just between God and me. Often that’s a recipe for self-delusion. We don’t have to bear burdens alone. When one comes before the church it isn’t just to answer for a public sin – it is to affirm the power and presence of Jesus Christ to bind and loose. We not only confess sins publicly, we also confess the Lordship of Jesus. We are saying that sin isn’t going to get the last word in the kingdom of heaven. We are not going to let sin destroy the community or communion we have in Jesus Christ. In his name we forgive. We can confess forgiveness in Christ before six or six hundred. One to another or one before all. This is a godly behavior/action that empowers more godly behavior!
• Two or three gathered together in my name: This comment is about worship – but has implication beyond that. And it isn’t merely a comment on the quantity of worship, but of the quality of worship. Think about the effect of unresolved conflict in the church. Think about its effect on worship. What happens when two or three are not in agreement and they gather together. Do they gather in Jesus’ name? Is he there with them? How can the Lord answer our prayers when we have unresolved conflict among us?
• Nevertheless, many of us will continue to fellowship with one another by going through the motions of worship thinking that we are the one justified by God and we have never acted on the process of communication that Jesus just described in vv. 15-17. We have never spoken to the other person privately (whether we are offender or offended) and thus experience Jesus’ power to heal and forgive. We have never relied on the wise counsel of others who love us to reconcile differences and thus experience the presence of Jesus’ spirit. We have never shared our struggles with the church as a whole for fear of judgment, but if we are true to Jesus’ teaching then we do not experience judgment but grace and healing.
• Paul taught this lesson of Jesus to the Philippian church. He urged two women there, Euodia and Syntyche, to agree with one another in the Lord (Phil. 4). He even urged the leaders of that church to help them resolve their dispute. These disputes can become the "elephant in the room" that everyone walks around but no one mentions.

Epilogue: (18:21-35)
Peter’s Practical Question: How often do you forgive? Can’t we just be rid of the trouble at some point? Don’t we have to take a stand? What will people think if they see us weak on sin?
Good question. It is the sort of question that demands a story for an answer. The parable of the unmerciful servant – is he victim or victimized? Is he offended or offender? Is he greatest or least? Powerful or weak? Answer: All of the above. We cannot break our society down into simple classes of guilty and innocent. We cannot break it down into offended and offenders. We are all in debt. We are all in slavery. We are all bound and need to be loosed.

The dilemma for the unmerciful servant is the dilemma we all experience: It all depends on which side of the forgiveness fence we find ourselves. If we are the outcast wanting back in to the fold of grace yet again, then 70 x 7 sounds hopeful and welcome. If we are on the inside of the fence and we have control of the gate latch, then 70 x 7 is a great challenge. What will it cost us to release the latch? How will things change if we welcome the outsider, perhaps the one who has sinned against us?

Chris Benjamin

West-Ark Church of Christ, Fort Smith, AR
Morning Sermon, 31 October 2004